Wasted Time.

Love at first sight, or mere infatuation? Infatuation. It's a disease. Love. It's a sickness.

Too soon to tell either way. For once I wish my oddly hilarious life would just assume some sort of normality. Clearly to be like everyone else would be too much to ask.

Ok, I'm not sure what's going on. I'm not moving and that's no surprise. I'm stuck. Every time I try to put myself out there I feel like I'm making a fool out of myself. Maybe I say the wrong things or maybe I just have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I'm gonna go with a combination of the two on this one.

I'm a lot of talk and little action. I can tell you what is the best thing for you to do, how to handle any situation. But when it comes to me, I don't have the answers. There are times when I feel I do, but even then I rarely act upon what I think I should do. Chicken? Absolutely.

I'm worried I'm going to let something or someone slip away, pass me by because I'm too busy NOT paying attention! Maybe the answers have been right in front of me the whole time and I haven't noticed. But it's more than not paying attention. When I get nervous, I crawl back inside of me, I get shy and quiet and I'm worried that this part of my personality will stop me from growing.

Clearly I need to stop worrying about what lies ahead. I spend and waste so much time contemplating my decisions. I'm not going to know now if my choices are/were the right ones. I have to wait and see, it's just hard to let go and let fate take over. At some point I just have to realize there's nothing more I can do. If I keep searching for the answers and solutions I'm going to make myself crazy. It's time to just let go.